Failure is a lousy feeling no matter when it happens. In the Boy Scouts of America we are trained to create an environment where the boys can fail safely. It is much better to fail in a practice scenario or one that has minimal stakes than it is to fail in a high stakes situation.
I failed! It’s ok.
This past fast Sunday I was determined to practice self control using what I’ve been taught about fasting. I was going to come up with interventions and little things that I could implement in more important scenarios. I’ve never had a real difficulty fasting and I thought it would be a safe place for me to develop new skills and abilities. Each time the thought crossed my mind that I was hungry I was going to take the time to analyze it and practice self control.
What really happened was that I ignored it as I always do. I didn’t get introspective or come up with a cool intervention. When my body said, “I’m hungry” I said, “So, what.” That was it. Even once I caught myself and thought now I should take the time to evaluate this moment, but then I convinced myself that it would take too much time and effort. WHAT? Yeah… I failed at practicing.
However, as I learned recently, there’s no such thing as a bad day, only good data. This is good data. Apparently, I need to work on my practice. Good thing for me there’s a regular fasting practice every month, and more if I want. I’ll do better at the next practice.
Are there any other ways that you practice calling on God to assist you in gaining self control?
I often rely on myself even when I am aware and know that I should not. Sometimes I do it because I know I am weak, and want to fail. That way I can say, well at least I tried, and still partake of the evil that I should not. Sometimes I rely on others and I even tell others when they are giving up an addiction or a bad habit that one of the best ways to break through is by telling others what you are doing so that they will hold you accountable. Well, others fail too. Sometimes I trust in experts even though I know being a physician that most experts may have a basis of understanding, but they’re just making slightly more educated guesses. Putting faith in the expert also negates my own personal responsibility for my actions. If I go down there is someone to blame.
What it comes to is this…Christ is the way, the truth, and the light, and by no other means can I be saved. Alma 37:33 says
“ Preach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves and to be meek and lowly in heart; teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil, with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ.”
It doesn’t say to fight some temptations with willpower. Or with a support group, or with a councilor, or even by reading my scriptures. All of those things are helpful and can guide me right, but they are not infallible and will not enable me to withstand every temptation.
Being willing to turn my life over to Christ completely is a big step, but a necessary one. How can I get to that point? I have to first truly believe that He has the power to help me. I need more evidence to build my belief. I’m not asking for grand miracles. I do have enough faith though, to ask for experiences that will help me to build my faith. I have enough faith to see his tender mercies. I have to believe so completely that I can give up my agency to Him and know that He has the power to make me whole. I don’t have that, but I’m sprouting.
As the father in Mark 9:24 “And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.”
Belief does not happen all at once. It usually happens over time as evidence is presented to our mind and soul. Eventually enough evidence is collected that we begin to believe. God gives evidence in the form of tender mercies. These can be large, but often they are small. For as long as I can remember I’ve believed in God, and often denied his power, by believing in myself more than Him. How did I come to believe and why was the progression of my belief halted. I need to start over to begin to look at all of the things that I overlook. I must practice believing by identifying evidence often enough to spark my belief. The tender mercies that will help to strengthen my belief in Him and as my belief increases I will be able to “come to believe that the power of God can restore me to complete spiritual health.”
Some of the tender mercies that I saw today are:
A brother who was willing to help me even when I had made myself to busy to help myself.
Direct inspiration from God’s word reminding me to love all men and feast upon His word.
Family who loves me enough to shout greetings when I arrive home from work.
A vehicle that despite it’s troubles does daily get me to and from my employment (another mercy).
A beautiful wife that I do not deserve.
Mercy can never be deserved or earned, but must be freely given and received.
I have many thoughts in my head. They come from numerous sources, which can include:
- God
- My self: I am a spirit, a soul, living in this mortal body, I have my own thoughts
- My body: It has natural desires and tendencies
- My senses: whatever I may be looking at, or listening to can introduce thoughts to me
- The Adversary (Satan, Lucifer, the Devil, what you want to call him and his minions)
With all these possible sources for thoughts in our mind it can be quite a challenge to discern where the thoughts are coming from. It can also be a challenge to actively manage them. It is easy to assume that if we have a thought in our mind, we put it there and we are responsible for it. This is not always the case.
Understanding this is extremely important!
Read the rest of Are you responsible for your thoughts? »
This is a call to all Sin Fighters in the world to join us in our fight against sin!
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